Truth and fear   2 comments

I can’t really remember what motivated me to start blogging besides the fact that my sister blogs and I guess I still have the habit of copying what she does liked I did when I was younger. I guess that I was looking for a way that I could share my options with the world with the safety of a scene to protect me. Which kinda makes me sound like a coward which I have been trying hard for a long time to convince myself I’m not.

But truth is I really am. I am a coward but hopefully that stops here.

I made a New Year’s resolution to stop letting my life being controlled by fear. Which is really what I was thinking about when I started this. I always want to say I’m fearless but I’ve been lying to myself and others. I have always been afraid of how people see me which is why I have fears about things I really shouldn’t like sharing my faith, joining the military, sharing my ideas, my feelings or speaking in front of a crowd. It terrifies me to share my faith because I don’t want people to think I am a Jesus freak. I am terrified to tell people I’m joining the military but actually have little fear of joining because I think people will laugh there asses off when they find out. My ideas are generally out there a bit and it still shocks me when people react positively to them (heck only one person I know face to face knows about this blog and that’s only because she caught me writing it). My feeling are often oppressed because I am afraid of rejection or people getting mad at me. And even though I make a fool of myself on a daily basis the only reason I speak in front of people is because I’m more afraid not to.

I’m working on changing that though. I am enlisting in the military and people are just going to have to deal with it. I even finally asked out the guy I have had feelings for for the longest time which my not seem like a big deal to a lot if my friends since it was a girl’s choice dance and he is too much of a gentleman to have said no. I pray to God every day to give me the courage to share my faith because it is selfish of me not to. I know I still have to work on watching my tongue but maybe one day I won’t have this nagging feeling of fear after I open my mouth.

Generally the truth scares me but I am working hard to set it free.

-An extraordinary no one who is trying not to let fear rule her life


Posted January 8, 2014 by Extraordinary Nothing in Uncategorized

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2 responses to “Truth and fear

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  1. Enlisting in the military is a very big decision. I admire anyone who does this.. Our son is a U.S. Marine and has been for the last two years and four months. I think the hardest part for him is being so far from family and only getting to visit family a few times a year.This is also the hardest part for all of us.I wish you the best in following your dreams. I have an article on my other photography blog that might interest you.Check it out if you get a chance.

    • Thank you and thank your son for his service for me. Also thank you for sharing your blog post with me. It was what I needed to hear. A lot of people want to put their two sense into the decision that I have made but in the end of the day it is my decision that I will have to live with and hopefully succeed in.

      p.s. I rather enjoy your photography it has an amazing simplistic beauty to it.

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